


New Weird Problems

by evelinaonline



Series: TUActober [2]
Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Ben Hargreeves Needs A Hug, Dysfunctional Family, Family BBQ, Gen, No Incest, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Season/Series 01, Season/Series 02, the sparrow academy - Freeform, you know cause there's like... thirty prompts and they aren't up yet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-01
Updated: 2020-10-31
Packaged: 2021-03-07 20:02:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 31
Words: 14,850
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26753272
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/evelinaonline/pseuds/evelinaonline
Summary: Same Weird Family. New Weird Problems.(A collection of drabbles for TUActober 2020.)
Relationships: Ben Hargreeves & Klaus Hargreeves, Ben Hargreeves & Klaus Hargreeves & Diego Hargreeves & Luther Hargreeves, Ben Hargreeves & Luther Hargreeves, Ben Hargreeves/Jill, Diego Hargreeves & Luther Hargreeves, Diego Hargreeves & Vanya Hargreeves, Diego Hargreeves/Lila Pitts, Klaus Hargreeves/David "Dave" Katz, Raymond Chestnut/Allison Hargreeves, Sissy Cooper/Vanya Hargreeves, The Hargreeves Family
Series: TUActober [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1948447
Comments: 282
Kudos: 141





	1. Doomsday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> day two and im already resolving to crack, oh no

**1\. Doomsday**

_What would you do if it was your last day on earth?_

Quite frankly, Ben had stopped thinking about it. He was supposed to stop wandering around the world when he died, to move on, but he didn’t. Ben was nothing but an observer, but he stayed nonetheless. There would be no last day on earth for him.

Unless the earth beneath his feet ceased to exist.

When the streets of Dallas turned into a warzone, Ben and his siblings did what they knew best; they became soldiers. And they stayed soldiers, until their brother appeared—their brother who was _supposed_ to be there with them—only to leave again. They didn’t exchange a single word, but Ben knew; he wasn’t coming back. Not in this timeline, anyway.

So then the question came back to him, that very same question he hadn’t thought about since before he died tragically on a winter day, _what would you do if it was your last day on earth?_

He was standing alongside his siblings, but his eyes didn’t meet theirs; they were all too busy watching the world they tried to save go up in flames.

At last, they were all observers.

And well. Ben thought that was pretty ironic.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *ben voice* oh my god, we're back again—
> 
> We're starting with angst for [TUActober 2020 (hosted by totallyevan on tumblr](https://totallyevan.tumblr.com/post/628500503088758784/and-were-right-back-where-we-started-same-weird), ily boo). Happy birthday to the Hargreeves siblings!! If you were around last year when I was doing this challenge (it's?? been a year already??) then you know I'm not doing anything fancy, just testing out new writing techniques through drabbles. I'm super excited for this year's prompts, can't wait to fall behind once again. Hope you stick around :D
> 
> (If you want to check out the drabbles I wrote for TUActober 2019, I made this into a series!)


	2. S1 vs S2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bad timing (ft. Klaus Hargreeves (ft. Ben Hargreeves (ft. bowling with Diego and Allison)))

**2\. S1 vs S2**

“Alright, it’s showtime, Ben!”

“You’ve said this phrase exactly two times before manifesting me before, and neither ended well.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever, just—wait, _two?”_

“Yes, Klaus,” Ben said, sighing deeply. “Two.” If they weren’t in the middle of something, Klaus would have punched him.

There was nothing preventing him from defending his honor, though. “One,” he corrected, “it was one time, when you bailed on me against these assholes in Dallas. You know, your little _fight your own battles_ speech you pulled in the middle of a crisis—”

“Oh please, you turned out fine!”

“I bit someone!”

“Wouldn’t have been the first time.”

“You asshole, I’m going to—”

“Are you two going to keep us waiting for long?” Allison interrupted, her arms crossed as if she was about to put him and Ben in time-out. “Klaus, you said you’d manifest _Ben,_ not a soap opera.”

“Well, he’s being a prick!” Klaus said. “When—seriously, _when_ have I ever said _‘it’s showtime!’_ to manifest his little grumpy ghost ass before—?”

“Right here, actually,” Diego said, standing up from his seat. “Something about Ben punching you? Which, Ben, you absolutely should do, by the way.”

“Thank you!”

“Shut up!” Klaus shushed Ben. “You’re making it up—”

“No, no, I remember it too,” Allison said. “You threw a bowling ball at him. I think so, at least? We couldn’t really see him.”

Klaus knew exactly what Allison was talking about—and Christ, how was it possible that all three of his siblings remembered something that happened over three years ago? 

“Well, Allison,” Klaus said, shaking his head and trying to look as sad as possible. “I was lying.”

“What?” Diego and Ben said at the same time.

“Yeah, yeah,” Klaus continued, doing his best not to smile. “I just wanted your attention, I was… I was a disturbed young soul back then, and our brother wasn’t actually—”

“Oh, it’s showtime.”

Without any further notice, Ben was coming at him with full force, knocking him off his feet. “Asshole!” Klaus yelled, trying to push him off as he climbed on him.

“Are you faking that too, superman?” Diego mocked him, causing Allison to snicker.

They wrestled on the ground for a bit, and if Klaus didn’t have the tiniest bit of respect for the owners of the bowling alley, he would have pushed Ben all the way to the bowling pins. Ben, on the other hand, seemed to be trying to do just that.

“Can we see our brother now?” Allison asked when they were both lying on the ground, no longer struggling.

“Fine,” Klaus said, not bothering to get up as he brought his fists together. “Showtime.”

He was never going bowling with Allison and Diego and _Ben_ again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's only day two and i'm already resolving to crack. this is going to be fun <3


	3. Pinky Swear

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Diego is having a bad day. Vanya doesn't know why that means he needs to spend it in her room while she practices.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one makes no sense but do I really care? No <3

**3\. Pinky Swear**

“Pinky swears are dumb.”

It was the third time Diego had interrupted Vanya’s playing—though to be fair, it was her fault for letting him in her room in the first place—and even though was three seconds away from snapping, she couldn’t help but be intrigued.

“Okay,” Vanya said, because what else could she say? It’d been so long since she last spent time with someone else, it was as if she’d forgotten how to act.

“You just…” Diego held his pinky in front of his face, squinting his eyes to look at it, “… hold out your pinky.”

Vanya sighed, placing her violin on her desk and sitting next to Diego on the bed.

“What difference does it make?”

She shrugged. “Does it have to?”

Diego thought about it for a moment, then let his hand drop back on his lap. “No.”

“What’s gotten into you today?” Vanya asked, and this time it was Diego’s turn to shrug.

Something had happened in training; she didn’t know what, but there was no other explanation. Something happened, and Diego was too embarrassed about it—otherwise he wouldn’t be with Vanya, as he had four other not-so-perfectly-good siblings to choose from.

“Look, Diego—”

“You need to finish your piece, I…” He paused, taking a deep breath. “I kn… know.”

Vanya smiled sadly. “Sorry.” She was about to flop off the bed, when an idea came into her head. “You do have to promise to be quiet, though.”

“What?”

“You need to promise,” Vanya repeated, holding out her pinky in front of Diego.

Diego huffed, shaking his head. “You’re joking.”

“Nope,” she insisted. “Come on.”

There was a moment in which Vanya really thought Diego was going to shake her off and leave, but he slowly held out his own pinky, wrapping it around Vanya’s. “Fine.”

Vanya tightened her own grip, giving Diego’s pinky a good shake. “You have officially given a pinky swear to shut up.”

“Yeah,” Diego mumbled. “The pinkiest.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have this headcanon that like... Diego saying "the pinkiest" right after a pinky swear is kind of his thing, and I just wanted to write something where he says it to one of his siblings!


	4. Prophet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Klaus walks in his room one day, and he's not alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw: cults, very minor drug mention, minor grieving

**4\. Prophet**

In more ways than one, Dallas was better, Klaus thinks. A clean slate, with no sleepless nights in alleyways, no drug dealers tracking him down so he can pay them back, no ghosts.

Ghosts.

Klaus hasn’t seen ghosts in a long time.

2019 is another clean slate, but one Klaus isn’t sure he wants. There’s no apocalypse, no big family drama, no cult, and no ghosts still.

Klaus expects the swarm of ghosts to come flooding every day. To start calling his name, to reach out for his hands and his face and his body, to make him listen to their stories, to force him to hear them plead for help.

But none of that happens.

For a month, Klaus hasn’t seen a single ghost, not even his own b—

No ghosts. Not a single one.

And he’s starting to lose his patience.

He knows it’s all going to go downhill, eventually. Klaus is going to mess up and lose control, because that’s what he does, and he just needs it to be over with. It’s a waiting game, and it’s killing him.

He needs a nap.

Klaus drags himself to his room, not bothering to say goodnight. He’s probably not going to be able to sleep anyway, and Allison is probably up too, preparing for her flight tomorrow. He smiles at the thought of her reuniting with her daughter once more, and he wonders if—

“Prophet.”

Klaus jumps, his hand slipping from the door handle.

It takes him a second to ground himself, but when he does, his eyes fall on the man in his room; blue robe, hands held up on his forehead, palms displaying two words Klaus knows all too well.

“Prophet.”

He doesn’t even glance at Klaus as he repeats the one word Klaus was dreading to hear. Klaus looks behind him, making sure he isn’t followed, and locks himself in the room. He stares at the ghost for a minute, expecting for something to happen, _anything_ , and it’s like a waiting game all over again. Klaus takes a step closer, squinting his eyes closed before the screaming comes, but there’s none.

“Prophet.”

Just that one word.

He takes a deep breath and shakes his hands, bringing his fists together. He closes his eyes, feels the energy run through his veins, and lets himself smile a bit when silence is all that remains.

“Prophet.”

It doesn’t work.

Klaus opens his eyes, and the ghost is still there. He groans and storms to the other side of his room, plopping on his bed to face the ceiling, and lets the ghost call after a messiah that doesn’t exist. He’s too tired for this, and there’s nothing he can do about it.

“Prophet.”

_Whatever happens in Dallas, stays in Dallas,_ Klaus hears Ben’s voice in his head. He can’t remember what led his brother to say it in the first place, doesn’t know why he’s thinking of a silly inside joke at a time like this, but he is. Much as he doesn’t want to admit it, it’s more about hearing Ben’s voice anyway.

“Prophet.”

Klaus groans, and puts his pillow on his face, even though he knows it won’t make it better. He can feel them speak, all of them, when they’re in the room. At least there’s only one this time.

“Prophet.”

Klaus focuses on the joke again— _whatever happens in Dallas, stays in Dallas_ —but it’s not helping anymore; he wonders if Ben followed his own advice and fucked off somewhere in Texas. He doesn’t know whether he likes that or the alternative better.

“Prophet.”

The ghost keeps speaking, but it’s not the ghost Klaus wants to see.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my fave prompt so far! I wanted to write something where Klaus' emotions get in the way of the control he has over his powers, and,,, yes. Tomorrow's scenario is also going to be a bit :c but after that I have some fluff in store!


	5. The Swedes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Axel can't look at his hands.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeehaw sad hours <3
> 
> tw: grieving

**5\. The Swedes**

Axel can’t look at his hands.

He keeps them tucked in his pockets and folded behind his back when his clothes don’t have any—but he always makes sure to have pockets. He doesn’t like touching his hands against each other, doesn’t like feeling them.

Axel would rather he didn’t use them at all. Every time his fingers wrap around something so simple as a glass of water, he can feel his brother’s skin against them, his pulse beating faster and faster until it stops, and—

He takes a sharp breath, and bites his lip, eyes pinned on the ceiling as he lies down on his bed.

He can’t keep his eyes closed for long.

When he does, he sees Oscar and Otto, he sees a forest, until he can’t see Oscar anymore, until the forest becomes a boat in the middle of the sea, until the boat becomes a couch, and he can see his hands again.

But he can’t see his brothers. Not anymore.

Axel reaches out to turn the light off again, but doesn’t take his eyes off the ceiling as he does so.

He can’t look at his hands. He can’t close his eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> listen,,,,,, axel didnt deserve this :c


	6. Farm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Late night talks with Vanya and Sissy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AU where they take Sissy with them in 2019, and her and Vanya are cuddling in Vanya's room <3

**6\. Farm**

“We should buy a farm.”

Sissy is about to fall asleep when Vanya’s voice fills the room. She yawns and stretches, turning on her side to face her, their hands automatically seeking for one another’s in the dark.

“A farm, huh?” Sissy mumbles. “I thought we were done with farms.”

“Texas farms,” Vanya responds, her voice steady and quiet, tickling Sissy’s ears. “There’s plenty of them in the world.”

“But we’re okay here,” Sissy says. She lets her eyes fall closed, but Vanya squeezes her hand a bit tighter, to keep her awake. She blinks an eye open, squinting to make out Vanya’s face in the dark. “What’s on your mind, love?”

“You loved the farm.”

“And I love you.”

Sissy pretends not to notice Vanya’s lips curl into a slight smile. She can play along for now. “We don’t have a garden here.”

“We can make one.”

“Or buy a farm.”

Sissy chuckles, and leans closer to her girlfriend, pressing a kiss on the tip of her nose. “Or buy a farm.”

She falls asleep with a smile tugging at her lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Today I offer you Vissy fluff. Tomorrow? Who knows,,


	7. Team Zero

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Diego didn’t steal Luther’s stupid vinyl, and Klaus isn’t helping.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one got out of control, but honestly? I vibe with it. Hope you enjoy!

**7\. Team Zero**

“I didn’t take your stupid vinyl.”

“Cut the bullshit, Diego. It was right there, on the table, and you were the only one in the room.”

“Exactly!” Diego said, his eyes never leaving Luther’s. “And as someone who was _right here_ , I’m telling you, there was no record on this table. Period.”

Luther sighed in that _you-know-I’m-right_ tone of his, and maybe Diego wouldn’t have been so pissed if it wasn’t for the fact that Luther wasn’t, indeed, right. “Just admit you hid it somewhere to mess with me and stop wasting time.”

“Listen to me,” Diego said, pressing an accusatory finger on Luther’s chest, “and get this through your head; I didn’t steal it. I’ve never seen it before in my life, I don’t even know what album it is—”

“—The Boomtown Rats—”

“—The Kaboom Mice, whatever!” Diego continued, and Luther rolled his eyes at him. “Luther. I did not take it.”

For a moment, Luther didn’t respond, and Diego thought he might have had actually won the argument without violence.

“You’re going to help me find it.”

“Oh, I’m not going to do shit, _Number One—!”_

_“Numero Uno?”_

Diego was two seconds away from punching Luther in the face when Klaus emerged out of nowhere. Great timing.

Luther must have had been thinking the same thing, because he said, “Klaus, now isn’t a good time.”

“Not a good time this, not a good time that,” Klaus said, plopping down on the couch. “I think we’ve already established that time is more than relative.”

“What do you want, Klaus?” Diego asked, pulling his hand back. Luther was going to have to wait; he had another asshole to deal with.

“Nothing much, thanks for asking,” Klaus said, then sharply turned to his side. “Shut up, this isn’t about you.”

Ben, Diego thought. He still couldn’t believe he was actually there, even though they couldn’t see him.

“Now, tell me,” Klaus continued, snapping Diego out of his thoughts. “What have I walked into?”

“He stole my vinyl.”

“I didn’t _steal_ your—”

“Oh, yeah, yeah! _‘Help me find it,’_ and _‘I don’t think so, bitch!’_ I heard all of that!” Klaus giggled.

“I didn’t call him a—”

“You know, you’re right!” Klaus said, standing up again. “If only I could remember what you said… oh right, right, it was _Number One._ ”

Diego threw a glance at Luther, then crossed his arms. “What are you on about?”

“See, it’s just that I couldn’t help but notice… weren’t you the one that was so insistent on dropping the whole number thing?”

Both Luther and Diego groaned. “Is that what this is about?” Luther asked. “In case you haven’t noticed, none of us is actually called Number Zero—”

_“Team_ Zero,” Diego found himself correcting. It was a badass name, dammit, and he was going to live up to it.

“There, there!” Klaus said, a grin on his face as he stood up. “So glad you figured it all out now.”

“I still need to find my—”

“Nobody took your stupid record!”

It was then that the cabinet shook loudly, and for a moment, Diego thought that all its displays would shatter. None of them did fall, though—none except one.

“Christ, Ben!” Klaus yelled.

Diego walked up to the item, leaning down. _“The Best of The Boomtown Rats…”_ he read. Soon enough, Luther was on his side. “How did that get up here?”

Luther shrugged, and Diego sighed, picking the record up and handing it to him. “Told you I didn’t touch it.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Luther said.

Diego was going to let it pass and finally have that nap he was so looking forward to, but then a thought rushed through his head faster than—

“Klaus!” both him and Luther said at the same time, scanning the room to find him.

“That little shit,” Luther said, placing the vinyl on the table.

“Wanna teach him a lesson?” Diego asked.

“It’s on.”

What they didn’t see, however, was _The Best of The Boomtown Rats_ floating away the moment they left the room, being placed on yet another cupboard, at the other side of the living room.

“Team Zero my ass,” Ben mumbled, rubbing his hands together after finishing his mischief. Klaus would just have to forgive him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know if it was clear at the end, but Ben was the one messing around with everyone all along, because he seems like the kind of person who would do that. And speaking of Ben, he's going to make an appearance tomorrow... with a certain someone [insert eyes emoji here]


	8. Reunion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben almost doesn’t notice her walking up to him, but he doesn’t have to look to know it’s her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> au: they don't stop the apocalypse at the fbi building, and everyone dies. ben (trying to cope with the loss of his family) is all alone in the void, staring into the light.
> 
> this is very experimental but yeah!!

**8\. Reunion**

“What are we staring at?”

He almost doesn’t notice her walking up to him, but he doesn’t have to look to know it’s her. He continues staring ahead—into the blinding blue light, the only one in the dark void they’re in right now—but he can almost see her with the corner of his eye, standing right next to him.

“I don’t know,” he says honestly, because he doesn’t. The light is pulling him in, speaking to him, telling him to embrace it, but that’s it. He doesn’t know what’s on the other side, or why it’s so important to reach it. He is fine where he is.

They sit in silence for a while—just the two of them, and the light, in the empty void. It’s odd; he’s never been there with anyone before. Odd, but not unpleasant. In fact, he quite likes being alone with someone else.

“We’ve met before, haven’t we?”

It’s only then that he turns to look at her. She almost looks the way she did before this mess began—no blue robe, no flowers in her hair, no tattoos on her palms. She’s dressed in a baggy shirt, her hair is loose, and the light is illuminating her face, her eyes shining in response. She looks almost natural that way.

He barely tries to hide his smile as he exhales through his nose, looking ahead again.

“Yeah,” he says. “Yeah, we have.”

Ben wanted to speak to Jill again more than anything—but not like this.

“And we’re dead.”

Never like this.

“Yeah,” Ben says, and it comes out almost swallow. When Jill doesn’t respond, he buries his hands in his pockets and forces himself to think of a way to fix this. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault,” she says almost immediately. She was prepared to comfort him—that’s what she does.

“Partially my fault,” he says.

He’s not looking at her directly, but he notices her shrugging anyway. “Guess you’re gonna have to make it up to me, then.”

“Yeah, well—” He pauses. “What?”

“I said,” Jill says, and the teasing tone in her voice barely registers in Ben’s brain, “that if you’re the reason we’re at the end of the world together, you’re going to have to make it up to me.”

“Okay, first of all, it’s not the end of the world,” Ben says before he can stop himself, facing her again. “We’re way past that now; there _is_ no world.”

“Sounds ominous.”

“You think this is funny.”

“It’s a little bit funny.”

And then they’re laughing.

They’re quiet chuckles that feel like they’ll go on forever, to find the nonexistent bounds of this place. Ben has never laughed here before, and it feels… it feels nice, to snicker with no one to hear.

Well. Almost no one.

Like all things, their laughter dies out eventually, and they’re back to silence, and Ben has to remind himself that this is temporary. Jill can’t stay here; no one ever stays, or comes here in the first place.

“You should go.”

“Go where?” Jill asks. Ben simply tilts his head towards the light, and she exhales under her breath like she connected the dots. “What about you?”

“I’ll be okay,” he tells her.

Jill doesn’t respond.

Their eyes meet—Ben wants to stare into this pair of eyes for the rest of eternity, to be led somewhere away from here—and he nods at her. They break eye contact right after, and Jill takes a hesitant step forward, holding back a breath she doesn’t need.

And then she takes a step back.

“I think I’ll stay.”

Ben turns to her, and says nothing, because what can he say? Jill doesn’t look back though. Instead, she takes another step, this time to her right, the side of her arm gently rubbing against Ben’s.

“Okay.”

His voice is barely above a whisper, but he can pinpoint the exact moment Jill hears it, because her lips curl up into a smile, and she presses against Ben harder, but still as gentle as she can be, and Ben pushes back.

“Okay,” he repeats, looking into the light he’s found himself staring into so many times in the past. He’s found another reason not to enter it, and he doesn’t mind in the slightest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so... good news is i will definitely be coming back to this in the future and making a bittersweet-ish longer fic out of it? oops my hand slipped-
> 
> but yeah, ill add a link here once that's done! it's not gonna be long, just a one-chapter fic with a few,,, soft moments.
> 
> anyway, tomorrow's prompt is beauty parlor and i have planned absolutely nothing so i don't have any hints to give. catch you next chapter!


	9. Beauty Parlor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Allison is working late, and she has a visitor.

**9\. Beauty Parlor**

Some days were busier than others.

Allison knew this, of course, but it didn’t make cleaning up after a long day at Odessa’s any easier.

“Excuse me?”

Especially not when she was interrupted every three seconds.

Allison sighed, letting the mop fall against the wall, and turning towards the parlor shop’s entrance.

“I don’t suppose you’re open for business.”

She crossed her arms. “I don’t suppose you read the sign at the door.” _Closed_ , it said—Allison put it there herself.

“Well… this is rather convenient then.”

Ray let himself in with a bounce, the shop’s bell ringing as the door closed. He walked up to Allison, taking off his hat—he looked adorable in that stupid hat, even if she’d never admit it out loud—which Allison gladly took; to put on _her_ head.

“Convenient?” she asked, adjusting it. It was half a size too big for her, but she could tell by the grin on Ray’s face that he liked it.

“Convenient,” he said, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her into a quick kiss that was rudely interrupted by the hat bumping into his forehead. He frowned as Allison giggled, and took it off her head. “I thought you hated the hat.”

She shrugged, her eyes focused on it as it fell on the floor for only a second. “Right now, you seem to hate it more.”

Ray hummed and leaned in again, and this time their lips met halfway. “Let’s go home.”

“I need to finish up here,” Allison said inbetween kisses, giggling. “If only I had some help.”

“If only,” Ray said teasingly.

They shared another long kiss before pulling away. Allison turned around, grabbing the mop and pushing it into Ray’s arms. “Come on, _fiancé,”_ she said. “We’ve got work to do.”

Without any protests, Ray pressed a soft kiss to her forehead and got to work.

Some busy nights were better than others.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Almond is the purest thing that has ever happened to this show, I will not be accepting any constructive criticism.


	10. Hug

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A hug is supposed to feel nice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Extremely short character study with Ben + hugs. It's been a very busy day, I hope you enjoy this!

**10\. Hug**

A hug is supposed to feel nice.

It’s supposed to feel safe, like the sun on a summer evening, like a warm drink in the winter, like going home after a long day.

It’s not supposed to remind you of suffocating, of danger, to make you feel scared—scared that others will harm you, scared that others will be harmed by you.

It’s supposed to make you feel affection. To feel loved.

A hug isn’t supposed to make you feel lonely. It’s not supposed to _be_ lonely.

A hug is supposed to feel nice.

So why isn’t it like that for Ben?


	11. Outfits

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Klaus isn't letting Ben go without a '60’s makeover.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no idea where this stands timeline wise, probably like a year or two before S2? Anyway, hope you enjoy!!
> 
> tw: subtle cult mention

**11\. Outfits**

“Mmmmm, nope. It’s not going to work.”

“What do you mean _‘it’s not going to work?’”_

Ben took a step back as Klaus took one towards him, staring at him as if he was some sort of experiment. He was scanning him from head to toe, hand rubbing his beard—Ben hated that beard—and was seemingly in deep thought.

“You, Benny,” Klaus said, gesturing at him. “Your whole… genre.”

“My _genre?!”_ Ben said, and Klaus nodded. “Klaus, I’m not a music piece, what are you talking—”

“Your style, Ben!” Klaus interrupted. He took another step closer, and this time Ben let him—although he regretted it. Klaus took hold of Ben’s jacket, inspecting it. “Nothing about this screams _The '60’s_.”

Ben slapped Klaus’ hand away. “We’re a time travelling cult-leader-fraud, and a tentacle-summoning ghost from the future.” He dusted off his jacket. “So yes, nothing about this screams _The '60’s!”_

“Touché,” Klaus said. “But my point still stands!” Ben groaned, and he was about to walk away when Klaus started speaking again. “No, listen, I’m serious! You need some… pisazz going!”

“Pisazz.”

“Yes!” Klaus walked to his closet, opening it widely. “You know, these fancy pants, maybe a tight shirt—”

“Yeah, no, I’m out—”

“A hat!”

Ben stopped walking.

“What?”

“A hat,” Klaus repeated, walking up to him. He forced a black top hat into Ben’s hands, and Ben couldn’t help but take a closer look; it wasn’t… bad. “See, I knew you’d like that.”

“Shut up,” Ben mumbled and walked up to the mirror, putting it on.

Yeah.

It wasn’t bad.

“There, now you look like a proper '60’s man!”

“I said _shut up!”_


	12. Majestic 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luther runs into Five snooping in Dad's office... again.

**12\. Majestic 12**

“Five, Diego said you were here, have you seen—what the hell are you doing?”

Luther shouldn’t have been surprised to find Five in Dad’s office again, and yet… Much as he didn’t want to admit it, seeing someone else on his chair still made him feel weird.

“What does it look like I’m doing?” Five asked, barely looking up from the file he was reading. He was leaning back on Dad’s chair, his legs resting on the desk.

Luther sighed and walked behind him, taking a closer look. _“The Majestic 12…”_ he read. “Any idea what it means?”

“Nope.” Five slammed the paper on the desk, studying up. “I’m gonna get coffee.”

“No, wait, I wanted to ask you if you’ve seen—”

But Five had blinked out of the room.

“—the key to the front door.”

Luther shook his head, and left the room, the file long forgotten on Dad’s desk. He needed to focus on finding that key, and he supposed Allison was next.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Majestic 12? Never heard of them.


	13. Mamie Pink

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For someone who used to work at a paint store, Klaus thinks, Dave sure is horrible at painting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FINALLY SOME KLAVE FLUFF! I love these dorks, and they deserved so much better. Hopefully S2 isn't the last we see of Dave <3

**13\. Mamie Pink**

“Hey, no, you gotta do it like— _Dave!”_

Klaus barely had enough time to snatch the roller from Dave’s hands before he made another bold stroke on the wall.

“I was using that!” Dave said, but didn’t protest to take it back.

“Yeah, wrongly!” Klaus said, dipping the roller in another dose of mamie pink paint and bringing it closer to the wall. “You can’t just… point it in any direction you want, it’ll leave marks!”

Dave simply hummed in response, leaning his head on Klaus’ shoulder. It caused Klaus physical pain to push him off—he was simply too adorable when he nuzzled; like a cat—but they had a bathroom to paint, and Dave was being extremely _not_ helpful.

“Daaaaaaave…” He tried to force Dave off his side, or at least hand him the roller, but Dave only nuzzled him further. “Come on, we have work to dooooo…”

“Can’t you do it?” Dave mumbled into the crook of his neck. “I like watching you work.”

“Nice try,” Klaus said, _finally_ getting Dave off him. “You worked at a paint shop, you’re supposed to know these things!”

“Yeah, at a paint _shop_ ,” Dave said. “Didn’t actually get that much painting done.”

Klaus sighed, letting the roller rest on the paint tray.

“Five minute break,” Dave said, begging Klaus with these eyes, and oh did Klaus love that look—

_“No!”_ Klaus said, snapping himself out of his thoughts. “The paint will dry, we need to finish this now.”

Dave pouted. “Since when are you the responsible one?”

“Since when are you the needy one?”

Dave smiled—his smile, Klaus loved his smile so much—and walked up to him, wrapping his arms around his waist. Klaus hadn’t even realised they had started swaying left and right until they stopped to rest their foreheads against one another’s.

“Five minutes,” Dave whispered, planting a kiss on Klaus’ nose.

Klaus bit his lip to prevent a smile from showing up, but it didn’t do much help. “Five minutes.”

He didn’t know how much longer he could resist cuddling with his husband anyway.


	14. Commission

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's an argument in the briefcase room. (AU where Five, Diego and Lila are field agents working together at The Commission.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my what, third? fourth? Commission AU, but do I care? Nope. Here's some info!
> 
> **BACKGROUND INFORMATION** : In attempts to escape the apocalypse, Five (58) messes up the equations and time travels back to the beggining of it (now stuck in his 13-year-old body). It's only then that The Commission takes interest in him, and recruits him.
> 
> Meanwhile, after being kicked from the police academy, Diego has lost sense of what he must do. The Commission takes advantage of that and recruits him, and he reunites with Five.
> 
> Five, Diego and Lila are field agents working together in The Commission.

**14\. The Commission**

“You and I both know that I had it covered.”

“Did you now, Mr Hero?”

Diego rolled his eyes, his hands still resting on Lila’s shoulders. “You like to talk big.”

“Yeah?” Lila said with a smirk, pulling Diego closer to her by the waist. “So what if I do?”

Diego smiled too. “Then I guess we—”

“Get a room, won’t you?”

He didn’t have to look to know who it was—Diego knew that voice all too well. He _did_ give Five the pleasure of watching as he sighed deeply though, head leaning back in annoyance. “We _have_ a room, asshole.”

“You have a _job,”_ Five corrected. Diego had to admit, maybe flirting with Lila in the briefcase room after being told to ditch theirs wasn’t the most district they’d been, but it didn’t stop Five from being annoying. “Boss wants to see you.”

Lila snorted. “Uh-oh,” she said, letting go of him. “Someone’s in trouble with Nemo—”

“Both of you.”

_“Someone’s in trouble with Nemo,”_ Diego mocked her back, earning a flick of Lila’s finger on his nose.

“What did _I_ do?” Lila asked.

Five shrugged. “I don’t know, Lila,” he said, leaning against the wall and crossing his legs. “Assuming we’re excluding the way you blew our cover today.”

“Hey, I didn’t blow anything!”

“We had a _plan_ and you didn’t _follow—”_

“You and your tiny schoolboy shorts were going to get shot if I hadn’t—”

“Alright!” Diego interrupted. They both looked like they had more to say, but fell into a tense silence anyway, eyes on him. “Look, the target is dead, all of us are safe…” He did a quick pause, so he could take a better look of his partners. “There’s no reason to keep arguing about this.”

“Fine,” Lila said, throwing her hands in the air. She walked up to the door, but before she left the room, she stopped to look at Five who was standing right next to it. “But next time, I get the target.”

And then she walked out.

“I don’t understand what you see in her.”

Diego shrugged. “She’s not a mannequin, for starters.” Five glared at him. “Joking.”

Five ignored him. “She screws us over every time.”

“Easy,” Diego said. “You know how hard it’s been on her with all the…” Diego gestured wildly, hoping at least some of it would translate to _her mother is the head of The Commission and has brainwashed her into thinking that she should have full control of the time and space continuum, so you know, it kind of swept her off her feet when she found out that wasn’t the case, which is why maybe you should give her a chance._ Or something like that.

“Diego!” Lila—speak of the devil—shouted from the other room. “Are you coming or not?”

Five didn’t acknowledge it. “Why are you here, Diego?”

Diego huffed. “You’re the one that yelled at us to put the briefcase back while you dealt with Carmichael.”

“No,” Five said. “Why are you _here_ , in The Commission.” He stopped leaning against the wall, standing up straight. “Now, me? Fifty-eight years of isolation, I’m made for this job. But you? You were never an assassin, Diego.”

“None of us were.”

“They must need you back home.”

“Well you haven’t been home in a long time,” Diego said, staring at the wall behind Five. “Luther’s being shipped off to the moon, Allison’s a movie star, Klaus is… Klaus, and Vanya clearly wants nothing to do with us.”

“Do you really think they aren’t worried?” Five said, in a manner that wasn’t quite like him. Five never talked about their family, if he could help it. “That they don’t miss—”

Diego pointed his finger at him. “No. Who they miss is their other two brothers,” he said, his voice close to a whisper. “They miss the one who died on a mission because of them, and they miss y—” He swallowed deeply, trying to recollect his thoughts. “They miss _you.”_

Much like before, when Five had walked into the room, Diego didn’t have to look when Lila did the same. “Hey asshole, are you coming or not?”

“Coming,” Diego said, his eyes not leaving Five’s as he spoke.

He let himself be dragged away by her, and only snapped out of his thoughts when they reached the stairs.

“You good?”

Diego nodded. “Yeah.”

But he wasn’t.

And that conversation wasn’t over.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is one of the drabbles I might come back to in the future if enough people are interested, so let me know what you think!


	15. Axe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luther's biggest mistake was counting on Klaus to bring him an axe for the firewood.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i promise i've been getting sleep, i was fully self-aware while writing this

**15\. Axe**

“You must be kidding me.”

“Ask and you shall receive, Luthy-loo!” Klaus said, grinning from ear to ear as he played with the spray can in his hands, passing it from one to the other.

“I told you—” Luther exhaled deeply, shaking his head. “I asked for an axe.”

“Uh, yeah?” Klaus said, throwing a quick glance at Ben. “I am well aware, and so is my apprentice over there.”

Normally, Ben would have complained about the title, but he was too busy trying to keep a straight face. He nodded quietly instead, forcing down a chuckle.

“Then what the hell is this?!” Luther pointed at the can in Klaus’ hands.

“Axe!” Klaus said, and though he sounded serious, Ben could tell he was struggling as much as he was not to laugh. “You didn’t specify what scent, however, so Ben and I had to get… whatever.”

Ben elbowed his side. “Stop speaking in rhymes,” he mumbled under his breath, covering his face with his hand as a giggle escaped.

“Thought we’d settled on a medivial theme,” Klaus whispered back, to which Ben only shrugged. He needed to calm down; Luther needed to think they were being one hundred percent serious.

“That’s deodorant!” Luther said, getting back their attention. “How am I supposed to chop all this wood with _deodorant?!”_

“Oh, I dunno about the wood,” Klaus said. “But it could help with the smell—you _stink_ , Luther, yikey!” He scrunched his nose and waved his hand in front of his face.

It took Ben’s best effort not to burst out laughing when Luther actually sniffed his armit to make sure Klaus wasn’t being serious. “I do not smell ba—”

“It’s fine, it’s fine!” Klaus interrupted. “No, really, it is! Because in a few seconds, your lovely odor will be of—” he turned the spray can around, reading the label _“—sweet sandalwood and white amber—_ ”

“Thaaaank you,” Diego said. He popped out of nowhere, snatching the deodorant from Klaus’ hands and _actually sprayed it on_.

Ben and Klaus looked at each other, then, and not even a second later, they were both laughing their hearts out, leaning against each other for balance.

“I told—” Klaus tried to speak, but it was clear he was struggling to find his breath. “I told you it was Die—Diego’s!”

Ben actually felt tears running down his face at the comment. “Axe doesn’t—” He took a sharp breath. “Axe doesn’t, it doesn’t even _smell_ good!”

Klaus was the first to fall on the floor, soon followed by Ben, and they stayed there laughing for heaven knows how long, while Luther left to find an actual axe for the firewood.


	16. Possession

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Ben never possesses Klaus.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS IS KINDA RUSHED, but I really like the concept of it, so I hope it's enjoyable anyway!

**16\. Possession**

“Thank you.”

“Whatever, just… just make it quick.”

Klaus’ heart is beating faster than it ever has before when he looks away and shuts his eyes closed, keeps his limbs close to his torso, feels his body flinch before the impact comes.

It never does.

He takes in a sharp breath and waits—he waits, because he knows it’s going to happen, all he needs to do is wait.

But it doesn’t. It doesn’t happen.

“Let’s go see the gardens.”

Klaus squints an eye open, and comes face to face with Ben, which wouldn’t normally surprise him—Ben is always there, no matter what—but the last time he laid eyes on him, his brother was preparing to jump into his body. Now, Ben is standing up straight as if nothing weird is going on, like he’s back to playing observer. 

“Christ, Ben, just get over with it!” Klaus snaps.

But Ben doesn’t reply.

“Seriously, stop pulling my leg,” Klaus says, “just rip the band-aid off, it’s already been a… _ghastly_ day, so—”

“Exactly,” Ben interrupts. When Klaus doesn’t say anything, he sighs and leans against the wall. “Exactly, it’s been… it’s been a bad day.”

“Really? I hadn’t noticed,” Klaus mumbles, earning a glare from Ben. “Sorry, sorry, do go on.”

Ben shrugs. “Maybe we can just take a break.”

Klaus is about to throw another sarcastic comment in the bunch, but stops when he notices the way Ben is avoiding to look him in the eye, the way his arms are crossed like he’s giving himself a pity hug.

“You know what, sure,” Klaus says. “A walk, why the hell not?” _Nothing could possibly make this day any worse,_ he thinks.

Ben nods and stands up straight again, like he’s waiting for Klaus’ cue to walk any further. Klaus pretends not to notice how broken Ben looks by gesturing towards the door.

“After you, sir.”

Ben scoffs and rolls his eyes, but doesn’t protest.

Klaus grins. “Lead the way, asshole!”

They spend the next hour silently walking through the gardens, and don’t stop until Number Two finds them lying in the dirt, looking at the clouds.


	17. Baby Pogo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The kids are fourteen years old when they stumble upon photos of Pogo as a baby for the first time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This started as complete and utter crack, but it turned out to be one of my favorites? You guys know how much I love the 2-3-4-6 dynamic, so I thought I'd write something where they're hanging out as kids. Hope you enjoy!

**17\. Baby Pogo**

_“GUYS!”_

Allison didn’t even flinch when Klaus came running in the living room, Ben following behind him shortly after. All she did was exchange an annoyed look with Diego, who seemed to be thinking the same thing as her.

“This is the third time today,” Diego said, a warning tone in his voice, “so it better be good.”

“Oh, it’s good,” Klaus said, grinning from ear to ear. “We found—”

“—baby pictures of Pogo,” Ben finished for him.

Klaus glared at Ben. “Asshole, _I_ wanted to tell them—”

“Baby Pogo?” Allison said, standing up as quickly as she could and making her way next to Klaus. Soon enough, the four siblings were gathered around the picture in Klaus’ hands.

It was an old picture, slightly creased, but the image was still easy to make out. Pogo, decades younger, was cuddled up on the couch, dressed in a onesie, fast asleep. His face was buried in his little hands, and he looked the most comfortable Allison had ever seen him.

“This is adorable,” Allison said. She could hear her own smile in her voice.

“Is he wearing _rocket ship pyjamas?”_ Diego said, on the verge of bursting out laughing.

“Who is wearing rocket ship pyjamas, Master Diego?”

The four of them froze and turned around immediately, only to come face to face with Pogo himself. Thankfully, Ben had been quick enough to snatch the photograph from Klaus’ hands, hiding it behind his back.

“No one!” Allison, Diego and Ben said in unison.

“It was Diego!” Klaus said at the same time, earning an elbow to the side by Number Two. _“Ow,_ that hurt—!”

“Shut it,” Ben muttered.

Pogo looked as if he wanted to say something, but the words never came out of his mouth. “Very well.” He turned around to exit the room, but stopped. “Your father may be away for the weekend, children, but it _is_ still time for bed.”

“Yes, Pogo…” they all said. Allison sighed—she really didn’t want to go to bed yet.

“Hmm…” Pogo hummed, gripping onto his cane. “Perhaps your mother and I will accidentally forget to check up on you tonight.”

The four siblings exchanged a few grinning looks, before turning back to Pogo.

“I’ll go tell the others,” Klaus said, making a run for the stairs.

“No running up the stairs, Master Klaus!” Pogo called after him. “Wouldn’t want to repeat last time’s events.”

“At least he’s not wearing heels this time,” Ben said.

Pogo chuckled. “Indeed,” he said. He pointed towards Ben with his cane. “I’d put that back where I found it, if I were you, young Masters.”

Allison tensed up. “How did you—”

But Pogo didn’t let her finish her sentence. “Goodnight, Miss Allison,” he said, and walked out, leaving the three of them alone.

Ben took out the picture again, taking another look. “Can someone come with me to the attic?” he asked hesitantly.

Diego gave him a pat on the back. “Come on, let’s go.”

It wasn’t like Diego to willingly offer his services, but Allison decided not to question it. Pogo may have turned a blind eye, but it was getting pretty late, and—

Unless.

“You’re bringing more pictures, aren’t you?”

Ben shrugged, smiling. “Klaus’ room, five minutes.”

Oh, it was going to be a fun night.


	18. Dancing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The song may have interrupted Ben's reading, but he doesn't care; Jill, as it turns out, is a wonderful dance partner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no idea what's going on with the timeline in this AU, but Jill is in 2019 and Ben is alive. I hope you enjoy!
> 
> (The song they're dancing to is Put Your Records on by Corinne Bailey Rae and it lives in my heart rent free next to Benji <3)

**18\. Dancing**

Considering how many people actually lived in the academy these days, it wasn’t unusual for there to be music playing at random times. Ever since they got back from Dallas, it was as if they had made it their personal mission to listen to every single record Luther had in his room—and Diego’s ABBA CDs, which he would still not admit were his.

Said music didn’t usually come from the roof.

Then again, in the many years Ben had been in the academy, he’d seen all sorts of things. So when he started hearing music come from the roof as he read in his room, he didn’t question much. Allison liked to keep Luther company up there, and bringing her speaker with her wasn’t an impossible explanation.

That was, until Allison walked into Ben’s room asking him what he wanted for lunch, and the music was still playing.

No Allison, then. That only left him with… well. He supposed he’d find out.

Ben left his book on his desk and made his way to the roof.

_Three little birds sat on my window…_

The moment he opened the door, the music finally became clearer, and Ben couldn’t help but smile as he recognized the song.

_… summer came like cinnamon, so sweet…_

He leaned against the wall for a bit, taking it in. It was a cloudy day, but a bright one nonetheless. The wind was strong enough to mess with his hair, and almost chilly, but just the perfect amount. Ben loved that kind of weather.

_… maybe sometimes we got it wrong, but it's all right…_

It didn’t take him long to realise that the song was on repeat. He chuckled, shaking his head. Of course it was on repeat—she loved that song. Deciding to come out of his hiding spot, Ben pushed himself off the wall and walked further into the roof.

“Hello?”

Not two seconds later, a certain someone walked out of the greenhouse. “Benny!”

Ben could physically feel his jaw starting to hurt from how much he smiled. “Hey, Jill.”

Jill smiled back at him, running her hands through her hair to pull it up in a bun. She was wearing a blue striped romper and a pair of pink flipflops, a slight bounce in her step as she walked up to him, taking his hands in hers.

“What are you…?”

“Shhhh…” Jill started swaying left and right to the tune of the music, and although there was a respectable amount of distance between the two, Ben was pulled along with her. He rolled his eyes, but didn’t pull back.

_Girl, put your records on…_

Jill gave him a little nudge, then, and Ben knew there was no escaping it. He started moving along to the song too, following Jill’s lead.

_… tell me your favorite song…_

It wasn’t an organized dance—nothing like the ballroom lessons he’d taken as a kid—and even though they weren’t exactly in-sync, it felt like they were. Slowly, Ben found himself paying less and less attention to how silly he must have looked; because Jill was right there, and she was mesmerizing.

_… you go ahead, let your hair down…_

Jill was mouthing the lyrics as she opened her arms to the side, causing her and Ben to come chest to chest, and their foreheads to lean against one another’s. Ben couldn’t help but giggle at the situation, letting their hands fall to the side, still tangled together.

“Hey,” he said quietly.

“Hello,” replied Jill playfully, and soon enough, both of them were giggling.

Ben pressed a kiss on her forehead—he still couldn’t believe he could do this now—earning another chuckle from Jill. They pulled away just enough to look at each other. “You’re incredible.”

Jill rolled her eyes. “Someone’s feeling sappy.”

“Mmmm,” Ben hummed, planting another kiss. “Would that be a bad thing?”

Jill pressed her lips together—the way she always did when she was trying to come up with some sort of tease, and Ben loved the little things she did so much that his hurt could burst just thinking about it—and booped Ben’s nose with her finger. “You’re incredible too, Ben Hargreeves.”

Ben groaned, leaning his head on Jill’s shoulder to hide his smile—and blush. _“I’m_ the sappy one?”

“Has anyone ever told you that you are extremely easy to tease?”

“Unfortunately,” Ben mumbled as Jill pushed him off, holding his face between her hands. “You are though,” he said. “Incredible.”

Jill kissed him.

It only lasted a second, but Ben was grinning from ear to ear by the time it was over. “You’re incredible.”

“Dance with me.”

Her voice was barely above a whisper, but Ben heard her loud and clear.

He smiled. “Okay.”

It wasn’t unusual for there to be people dancing to said music either.


	19. Laughing Gas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben and Klaus and a beer and laughing at 3AM.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is bad in a way i can't even put into words, but i'm giving it to you anyway <3

**19\. Laughing Gas**

“Okay, okay, my turn,” Klaus said taking another sip of his beer. It was a quiet night. Well, as quiet as it could be, with Numbers Four and Six laughing it all away with a game of, “Truth or Dare?”

“Truth,” Ben said with a smile. He wasn’t as tipsy as Klaus—in fact, he wasn’t tipsy at all, considering he was dead and couldn’t even hold the bottle Klaus had gotten him, for some reason.

Klaus hummed a bit, deep in thought, before bursting out laughing again. “Why the fuck is laughing gas a thing?”

Ben raised an eyebrow. “You sure you’re not on it?”

Klaus kept laughing.

“What kind of question is this?” Ben asked, and even though he had meant to sound annoyed, he couldn’t help but chuckle. “Do I look like a dentist to you?”

“No,” Klaus said, “you look awful.”

“Hey!”

But Klaus continued giggling. “God, Ben, you’re so easy to tease,” he said. “Your go.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey again! Just wanted to apologise for not responding to all the comments you guys left in the past four chapters. These two weeks are incredibly busy for me (it's a miracle I'm even managing to write for TUActober in time) and I don't want to half-ass any replies. I do read everything and I appreciate it a lot though!! Hopefully I'll get back to you soon, thank you so much for all the support <333


	20. Destiny's Children

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Klaus _did_ name his cult after a girl group from the future, so he supposes he can't really blame Ben for being angry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS STARTED AS CRACK BUT I ACTUALLY THINK I'M FUNNY FOR ONCE, OOPS
> 
> content warning: mention of cults, obviously

**20\. Destiny's Children**

“Destiny’s Children.”

“Yes.”

_“Destiny’s Children.”_

“Heard you the first time.”

“You named your cult—”

“Ah, ah! It’s not a cult—!”

_“—after a girl group from the future!”_

Klaus sighed. “The point, Benny?”

Now it was Ben’s turn to sigh. “My point _is,”_ he said, “that this will have serious effects on the timeline. Remember what happened to Five?”

“Relax, we’ve already Rickrolled them, and the world is doing just fine!”

“No,” Ben said, an angry smile on his face. Klaus knew he should have felt bad, but watching Ben lose his marbles was amusing. “No, it’s not doing _‘just fine!’”_ Ben made quotations with his hands. “Think about the effects this will have on Be… apocalypse— _the_ apocalypse.”

Klaus raised his eyebrow. “The apocalypse?”

“Yes,” Ben said. “The apocalypse.”

_Too_ amusing, Klaus corrected himself.

“That’s not what you were going to say.”

Ben crossed his arms. “Yes, it is.”

“Nope!” Klaus stood up from the floor, yoga session given up halfway through. “Nope, it’s not! Now, I may have happened to be there when we tried to stop the so called _apocalypse,”_ he said, walking up to Ben and putting an arm around his shoulder, “but that _beapocalypse_ you speak of, that I’ve never heard of.”

Ben stayed silent.

“Unless, of course,” Klaus continued as Ben pushed him off, “you were trying to say something else.”

“Klaus, shut up—”

“You were going to say _Beyoncé!”_ Klaus said, and Ben’s face immediately turned red. “I knew it! I knew you were—”

“This has nothing to do with Beyoncé!” Ben interrupted.

Klaus laughed. “Oh, it has _everything_ to do with Beyoncé.”

Ben turned his back on him.

“Oh, come on, Benny, no one’s blaming you here!” Klaus said. “We’re all deeply concerned about Beyoncé.”

“Heard you the first time, thanks.”

“Beyoncé.”

“Stop.”

_“Beyoncé, Beyoncé, Beyoncé, Beyoncé, Beyoncé, Beyoncé, Beyoncé, Beyoncé, Beyoncé, Beyo—”_

“Fine!” Ben said, turning back to Klaus. “Fine, I got confused and I was going to say Beyoncé, can you _please_ take this seriously now?!”

“Fine, fine,” Klaus, pleased with himself, sat on the bed. He had to admit, plagiarizing _Destiny’s Child_ in the '60s was probably not his brightest idea. “What do _you_ think we should do, my guardian angel?”

Ben finally let his hands drop to his sides, and loosened his posture.

“I have no idea.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ben, throughout the entire drabble: *tumblr voice* you're laughing. i'm scolding you for naming your cult after beyoncé's girl group, and you're laughing.


	21. Amnesia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vanya doesn't remember who she is.

**21\. Amnesia**

_My name is Vanya…_

There’s an ache in the back of her head, and it feels like she’s going to burst any second now.

_My name is Vanya Hargreeves…_

She buries herself deeper into the bed sheets, and tries to shut the voice down. She can’t remember the last time she got a decent night’s sleep.

_My name is Vanya Hargreeves, and this is my story._

Vanya’s eyes fly open and she groans loudly, sitting up and pulling her pillow on her lap. For almost a week, it’s been nothing but that phrase stuck in her head, and it’s driving her insane.

Vanya remembers her name.

She doesn’t remember her story.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is my worst one yet abhjfjsdan but it's okay because tomorrow's prompt is jfk and i literally have no idea what i'll do for it <333


	22. JFK

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Diego and Lila have a little chat in the psych ward.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ignoring what I said yesterday, I actually don't hate this! Have some early Diego-Lila bonding <333
> 
> Content Warning: mention of drugs and the Kennedy assassination.

**22\. JFK**

“It’s not really about the president, is it?”

Diego considered ignoring Lila, but the question caught him off guard. He looked up from his plate hesitantly, just enough so his eyes could meet with Lila’s at the other side of the table.

“What?”

Lila smiled, leaning on her thigh—her leg was on the table again, but no one in the cafeteria cared enough to ask her to put it down. “Knew it.”

_“What?”_ Diego repeated again, more fiercely than before, but it only made Lila’s smile widen.

“You don’t really care about what happens to him, do you?” she said. “I mean, I have to give it to you, knight in shining armor, your story about Mr. President’s brains being blown out is pretty convincing, but—”

“Woah, woah, woah, now hold on there,” Diego interrupted, placing his fork down with a little bit more force than necessary. “It’s not just some story, okay? It _will_ happen. I’ve se—” He cut himself off, leaning closer to Lila and lowering his voice. “I have… inside information.”

Lila raised an eyebrow. “Do you?”

“Yes.”

Her expression suddenly turned serious. She looked towards the guard’s direction for a second, then gathered her leg and sat normally, leaning over the table until she was face to face with Diego.

“Then maybe…” Another look at the guard. “Maybe you could hook me up with your inside man.”

Diego stared at her for a minute. “What are you on about?”

“You know,” Lila continued, “whoever supplied you with this… _information_ must know their way around the job, considering what a wonderful _storyteller_ they’ve turned you into—”

Diego huffed and got up.

“Hey!” Lila said. “Where do you think you’re going, Secret Service?”

He leaned down again, pointing a finger at her. “I am not high,” he said. For a split second, his mind travelled back to his sibling—Diego never imagined he’d be repeating these words to someone else. “And I’m not making this up.”

“You need a haircut,” Lila said, completely unphased.

Diego almost slammed his hand on the table, but even he knew it wouldn’t look good on his file. Instead, he grabbed his plate as gently as he possibly could—so, not that gently—and walked away to find another table.

Upon sitting down, he made sure Lila wasn’t looking at him when he ran his hand through his hair. It was getting a little bit—

No.

Lila knew nothing about his hair, and certainly not about Kennedy.

He’d figure this out on his own.


	23. Apology

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You can't apologise to the dead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i wanna be a cowboy baby
> 
> anyway this had nothing to do with today's prompt. hope you enjoy!!

**23\. Apology**

“I’m sorry.”

The words leave Luther’s mouth before he can process them, and though it scares him, he doesn’t regret them—because he’s right.

He should be sorry. He’s hurt Diego, by yelling at him instead of helping him understand. He’s hurt Allison, by pushing her away when she tried to reach him. He’s hurt Klaus and Vanya, by ignoring what they had to say. A long time ago, he hurt Five too.

But the person he’s hurt the most is lying beneath his feet.

If only he’d paid a little more attention, then maybe Ben would be here to listen to the words Luther didn’t mean to say but didn’t regret. And if he were here to listen, then maybe, just maybe, Luther would have forced himself to continue.

But Ben isn’t here, so Luther doesn’t.

Instead, he physically drags himself away from his brother’s grave, each step heavier than the last, until there’s nothing left but footprints in the snow. What Number One doesn’t see is a figure dressed in black that’s watching as his trail is formed.

“I’m sorry too,” the ghost says from the other side, but he is neither heard nor acknowledged.


	24. Fraud

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Klaus and Dave on watch duty.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two bros, sitting in Au Shau Valley, no-feet-apart 'cause they _are_ gay-
> 
> I haven't written a lot of Klave in Vietnam before (I don't think I ever ended up posting it either?) and this is kinda rushed, but!! it's Klave so I'm happy with it. Big thanks to Evan for the prompt idea. Hope you enjoy this!

**24\. Fraud**

“I’m a fraud.”

Dave turned to his left to look at Klaus, who was sitting cross-legged on the bare ground. Had it been anyone else, Dave would have probably complained about them not getting anything done—he hated being on watch on his own, after all.

But this was Klaus; funny, charming, thrilling Klaus, who was very obviously bothered by something.

Dave turned back to the horizon, making sure they were alone. “What was that?”

“I’m a fraud,” Klaus repeated, with the same gloomy expression.

It was then that Dave finally put his gun down, and sat next to him on the ground. He knew, of course, the war wasn’t going to wait for him and Klaus, but he could pretend for one night. They weren’t the only ones on guard duty anyway.

“Where’s this coming from?” Dave asked, bringing one hand to cup Klaus’ cheek, but he waved him off. “Hey,” he said, “we can sort this out. What’s wrong?”

Klaus looked at him hesitantly, a sad smile on his face. Dave hadn’t seen him like this in a very long time.

“How can you—” Klaus began, but then cut himself off. “How can you be okay with this?”

“This?”

“Us,” Klaus explained, and Dave physically felt his heart drop. “Dave, I… lied to you, about everything.”

_Oh._

So this wasn’t about their relationship, not really. Dave let himself relax for a moment, before being hit by the fact that Klaus wasn’t okay once again. He couldn’t drown himself in worry though; Klaus needed him.

“I lied about how I ended up here, about my home, about my powers—”

“You were trying to protect yourself,” Dave said. “Klaus, you… you know I’m not angry at you, for keeping these things a secret, right?”

Klaus bit his lip. “I know that.”

“Then what’s wrong, love?”

A faint smile appeared on his face then, and Dave couldn’t help but return it. “That’s cheating.”

Dave tried to play dumb. “What’s cheating?”

“You, calling me pet names!” Klaus said. “You know how much it makes me—”

“Smile?” Dave interrupted. “Light up the room, the battlefield, and possibly my heart—”

“Daaaaaaaaaave!” Klaus pouted, but unlike before, he didn’t try to hide his grin back, and Dave was one hundred percent okay with that.

He reached for Klaus’ face again, and this time Klaus let him. They scooted closer to each other, and Dave started stroking soothing circles on Klaus’ cheek while Klaus reached for his other hand.

“You know what I like about you, Hargreeves?” he asked, then quickly added, “well, one of the many things.”

“Cute butt?”

Dave glared at him.

“Oh, come on,” Klaus said, bringing his hand over Dave’s. “I know for a fact that you _adore_ my lovely bottoms.”

“We are not discussing this right now,” Dave said, ignoring the fact that Klaus was entirely right.

“Fine,” Klaus said. “What _do_ you like about me?”

“You’re full of surprises,” Dave responded. “Where there’s chaos, you’re usually in the middle.”

“How is that a good thing?”

“I never said it was good.” Klaus smile faded a bit at the response, but Dave was nowhere near done. “But it’s amusing,” he said, letting go of Klaus’ cheek and turning it around so their hands could connect, “and fascinating,” he brought Klaus’ hand to his lips, pressing a kiss on his fingers, “a bit foolish,” another kiss, “and absolutely intoxicating.”

By the time he was done, Dave could see how watery Klaus’ eyes had become, and his smile hadn’t come back either.

“Was that too much?” he asked. “I’m sorry if—”

“I love you so much.”

Dave felt his heart flicker at the words. “I love you too, sunshine.”

“Even though I lied?”

He let go of Klaus’ hands and cupped his face again. “Full of surprises, remember?”

Klaus kissed him.

_Yeah_ , Dave thought as he returned the kiss, _full of surprises._


	25. Paradox Psychosis

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben may not know a lot about time travel, but he does know this; there aren't supposed to be two of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IT'S PARADOX PSYCHOSIS BABY!
> 
> The _moment_ Evan put this prompt on the list (before he even posted it, it was back when we were brainstorming together), I KNEW I wanted to write about Ghost Ben and Sparrow Ben meeting. I think I could have done way better at the execution, but I'm so hyped about this concept I don't even care.
> 
> NOTE: AU where Ben didn't die, and Klaus didn't hide him from the others in Dallas.
> 
> I also didn't include Stage 4 of Paradox Psychosis (Excessive Gas) because A) I mean come on, it's extremely anti-climatic, and B) I don't think ghosts can actually,,,, yeah. ANYWAY, enough talk, I hope you enjoy this!

**25\. Paradox Psychosis**

“Why is there a picture of me over the mantelpiece?”

The moment Ben pointed out the existence of the horrifying portrait of himself in the living room, Klaus popped up next to him, soon followed by the rest of their siblings. It wasn’t unusual for there to be paintings of them around the mansion, but this wasn’t right.

The painting was proudly displayed where Five’s portrait once was. In it, Ben was dressed in a school uniform that strongly resembled the Umbrella Academy’s, but not quite; this one was dark, crimson red, and the badge wasn’t the same either. For a moment, Ben thought that Dad might have painted it as a memorial for him after he died—the same way he treated Five’s disappearance—and simply never used it, but he quickly realised that couldn’t possibly be it.

The painting looked like him, the way he was now, all grown-up, but Dad had never seen him any older than seventeen. In fact, none of his siblings with the exception of Klaus had known what he looked like, not before their father’s funeral.

Ben could feel his arm getting irritated, but couldn’t relieve the itch, as he was covered in layers. He awkwardly shifted in his hoodie instead, but the movement only made him more and more itchy, and eventually sweaty, which was odd because Ben hadn’t felt these sensations in over a decade and—

“I knew you’d show up, eventually.”

And then they were gone.

It wasn’t the first time Ben had heard their father’s voice in the span of the last few days, but that didn’t make it any less chilling. For a split second, all Ben could feel was the piercing cold stare of Reginald Hargreeves—even if he wasn’t looking at him, _couldn’t_ look at him.

“Dad,” Diego said, followed by silence.

It was Luther who broke it. “You’re alive.”

“Why shouldn’t I be?” Dad responded firmly, not budging from his place next to his armchair.

And then the itching and the sweating started again.

“Klaus,” Ben said, slightly nudging on his sibling’s arm. He had no idea why it felt like someone was watching them, why he had the urge to warn Klaus, but the paranoia was only getting stronger.

“Not now,” Klaus muttered and pushed Ben off, as Luther was saying something about happy they all are that they’re home.

“Klaus, I don’t feel so—” Ben tried to say, but his throat was suddenly dry. “I have a bad feeling—”

“This isn’t your home,” Dad said, snapping him out of his thoughts.

“What are you talking about?” Allison asked. “This is The Umbrella Academy.”

“Wrong again,” Dad said. “This is The Sparrow Academy.”

As if on cue, many pairs of footsteps echoed in the room, and soon enough, five figures and a floating cube had made their way to the balcony upstairs, staring at the seven siblings.

And suddenly, Ben couldn’t take it anymore.

“I, I think… I think I need some—” he leaned against Klaus’ side again, his previous complains forgotten, “—some, uh, some air, I—”

“Jesus, what is _wrong_ with you!” Klaus yelled, but instead of pushing him off, he brough his fists together, and soon enough, Ben was wrapped around a blanket of warmth, a sense of reality, and he could feel his weight against the ground again.

Corporeal as he now was, he took a deep breath to ground himself. And yet, the moment the air hit his lungs, everything got worse.

His arms and legs and neck and torso wouldn’t stop itching.

He could feel the sweat on his forehead and on the back of his neck.

His throat was so dry that he wanted, _needed,_ a glass of water and—

They were being watched.

No, not watched, hunted. Ben could barely make out their faces in that lighting, but he knew they didn’t have any good intentions—no, no, it wasn’t just the new guys, was it? It was Dad too, of course it was Dad, but no, that didn’t make any sense, unless—

Yeah. Yeah, no, yes, they weren’t after _them_. They were after _him,_ every single person in that room, they wanted to hurt _him._

“Christ, what’s gotten into you!” Klaus said, and this time it was Ben that pushed him off.

“Stay back!” Ben yelled, backtracking in the middle of the room. He could feel everyone’s eyes on him, but that was okay. They’d been after him for a long time, but Ben knew that now. They had nothing to hide anymore.

Vanya and Five exchanged a subtle look—a signal, it had to be a signal—before Vanya took a step towards him. “Ben, calm—”

“I said _back!”_ Ben snarled, scratching his arm as he took another step back, away from his sister, away from all of them.

“Ben!” Five yelled.

And then there was another.

Another pair of footsteps, not from upstairs, but from the ground floor, getting louder and louder the closer they got to the living room. A man walked in, fixing his sleeve—no, scratching his wrist—with his perfect posture and crimson uniform and—

The man from the painting.

Himself.

Ben.

No.

“Dad, who the hell are—”

The man—him— _Ben_ —no, no, it wasn’t—

He paused, his eyes immediately falling on him—Ben, the _real_ Ben, and—

No.

No, it didn’t make any… no.

No.

Something sparked in Ben, then; the feeling that he was being watched, only ten, a hundred, times worse. He could feel his nails dig into his palms, could feel the way his teeth gritted against each other, could hear his heartbeat in his ears, his stomach rumbling in rage, because the person in front of him wasn’t him, no, it couldn’t be, it was—

The enemy.

And Ben just so happened to know what to do with enemies.

_“Who the hell is this asshole.”_

Ben and his look-alike spoke at the same time, and he didn’t care how frantic and deranged their voices sounded as they blended together. All Ben knew was that that guy was bad news, and he needed him _gone._

His stomach kept rumbling.

Ben let it.


	26. Soundtrack

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben didn't expect to die.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprising no one, I went with Sister of Pearl by Baio + Ben for this prompt! I don't really like writing songfics, but *Lila voice* why not?
> 
> This is kind of a character study mixed in with poet...ic...? things...? Anyway, hope you enjoy!

**26\. Soundtrack**

_Think I might forget it, gonna write it down, down, down_

Ben can’t remember what the last thing he said to his siblings was.

He thinks maybe he let Vanya borrow one of his books the night before he died, but the scene has long faded from his memory; all he can recall is handing her the book, and none of the words they exchanged. Did she say thank you? Did _he_ say thank you?

_If you just regret it, don't bring your ass around, 'round, 'round_

He had a fight with Luther, the night before. That he remembers. Or rather, Diego and Luther were having a fight, and Ben stepped in, resulting in both of his siblings turning on him out of frustration.

He doesn’t blame them, of course. Now that he’s thinking back to it again, he can understand why it wasn’t the best course of action. If anyone tried to break a fight between him and Klaus one of these days, he’d probably lash out too.

Still, unintentional as it was, Ben regrets it.

_It is what it is until it was what it was_

Ben wasn’t expecting to die.

But it’s not like most people do. Really, at end of the day, Ben’s case isn’t all that special. It was just an accident—a terrible, terrible accident, but an accident nonetheless.

Everything changed after that.

He thinks he told Allison goodnight the day before it happened. He’s not sure if he told Klaus, but it doesn’t matter, because he can do it every day, in this new life. Afterlife? It doesn’t really matter. Most things are the same, except when they’re not.

_So just keep on swingin', if only because, 'cause, 'cause_

Yeah. Most things are the same.

Kinda.

It’s not as if Ben has a choice, anyway, and he’s kind of grateful for it.

_I can tell by the look, you don't mean what you say_

Maybe.

But who can blame him, for not being sure? A small part of him wants to move on, and finally get to see what’s on the other side, but that’s the _thing,_ it’s the _other side_ , and Ben has no idea what’s waiting for him.

Is it really like the movies? A peaceful landscape, maybe next to the ocean, with a book or two? Or is it like a small town, crowded with familiar and new faces? Or is there nothing? Nothing at all, and it’s all just a trick the universe is pulling on him to get rid of him?

In the end, he doesn’t really want to know.

_Like a sentimental crook, it's tough to get away_

But again, Ben is glad he doesn’t have to make the choice of crossing over. He has more than enough here on earth, by his sibling’s side.

_If it even would matter, I would play every part_

It’s not just about Ben either; Klaus needs him.

He needs him, because he’s just like him. Longing, lonely, lost. They complete each other like two sides of the same coin. Ben, quite literally, needs Klaus to exist, and Klaus needs Ben to stay alive.

_But I'm too overeager and I just false start_

It took time to adjust. Ben was okay with not making the choice, but was Klaus? Ben never found the answer, and once again, he’s not sure he wants to know. Sometimes ignorance is bliss, and Ben really likes bliss.

But he also knows that everything they went through, it was real.

Yes, Ben misses his family more than anything, but for the past seventeen years, Klaus has been his family. No matter the arguments, the scolding, the teasing, there isn’t a single person in the world Ben trusts more than Klaus.

So when Ben finally reunites with his sister, letting her bury herself in his arms, he can’t help but ask for one last thing.

“Tell Klaus something for me, will you?”

_Oh, sister of pearl, I wouldn't change you for the world_

He doesn’t remember if he said thank you.


	27. Light Supper

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After possessing Klaus the second time, Ben passes out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is super short and kinda rushed because today has been really busy, but i hope you enjoy anyway!

**27\. Light Supper**

Ben is kicked out of Klaus’ body, and for the first time in seventeen years, he falls asleep.

It’s strange, and he doesn’t remember much of it. He supposes that makes sense—most, if not all, people aren’t aware of what happens to them while the sleep, but Ben can’t help but feel disappointed that all he has left of it is… nothing, really.

He wakes before Klaus, stands up before Klaus, realises what has happened before Klaus. In a matter of seconds, he’s back to normal, back to the muted reality of being a ghost. It’s a selfish thought—a dumb, foolish thought—but he kind of wishes he could switch places with Klaus, so he could feel something other than numbness for just another second, even if that something is pure exhaustion.

For now, he’s stuck in an elevator with six other people that won’t acknowledge him.


	28. Funeral

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Klaus tries to conjure Ben after his funeral.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ben’s Funeral Gone Wrong 2: Electric Boogaloo
> 
> So I'm sleep deprived and this makes zero sense at all, I'm just rolling with it. Hope you enjoy!

**28\. Funeral**

“It wasn’t anybody’s fault.”

“How would you know, Vanya? You weren’t even on the mission.”

“Nice going, asshole.”

“What? We were all thinking it.”

“Oh, so you’re thinking, Diego? That’s a first.”

“Screw you!”

“Can you guys just _shut up_ for one minute?!”

Klaus hadn’t expected to get anyone’s attention, but even Vanya, who was on her way back inside, froze in place when he spoke. His voice was raspy and shaky, and it was only then that he realised that was the first time he’d spoken that day.

It’d have to do.

“This isn’t a good time, Klaus,” Luther said. He was clearly trying to put on his leader voice, and failing spectacularly.

“Yeah, yeah, well,” Klaus said, stretching his fingers. “There isn’t going to be a better time, so—”

“A better time for what?” Diego interrupted, a sharp tone to his voice. “What the hell are you talking about?” A moment of silence. “No.”

“I might as well try!” Klaus said. “I even got sober and everything.”

“Cause you were so great at summoning ghosts before,” Allison mumbled under her breath, but Klaus heard her just fine.

“I _promise_ you, I got this!”

Vanya took a step forward. “Do we have a choice?” she asked. “We might as well let him try.”

Klaus took everyone’s silence as an agreement, and dropped his umbrella on the floor. He brought his fists together and closed his eyes, trying to focus on his brother’s memory; the smell of old book pages, the quiet giggles in the night, the stupid Elvis hair… Soon enough, Klaus felt his veins flooding with power, and he could feel him there, actually feel his presence and then—

“Well?”

Klaus blinked an eye open. “Did…” He let his body relax, slowly allowing all that energy to dissolve, but he could still feel Ben’s presence. “Did it work?”

“Jesus,” Luther mumbled in a way that resembled nothing close to _‘holy shit, it’s my dead brother!’_

“I told you he couldn’t do it,” Allison said, not bothering to lower her voice this time.

Klaus’ smile dropped. “No, but I—”

“No, she’s right!” Diego interrupted him again, pointing an accusatory finger at him. “It didn’t work for Five, so why would it work for—”

“Five isn’t _dead!”_ Vanya cut him off, her voice shaking even more than before.

“Then where is he?!” Diego snarled back, causing Luther to step up between the two of them.

A fight broke out in seconds, but Klaus wasn’t paying attention. He was too busy looking at his fists, lost in deep thought. He’d conjured him; he’d actually felt him, he _still_ felt him in that moment, but he was nowhere to be seen.

Klaus didn’t even flinch when the voices got louder, or when the first tear rolled down his cheek. He simply stood still, covered in snow, wondering what he did wrong this time.

In the distance, behind the old tree, a ghost looked over the five of them in silence.


	29. Family BBQ

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Same Weird Family. New Weird BBQs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay this one,,, this one got out of hand. It's wholesome, it's chaotic, it's almost 1,5k words and nothing close to a drabble BUT IT'S FAMILY BBQ TIME, WOO!!
> 
> Anyway, no beta we die like Ben. Speaking of Ben, no one died in this universe and they're all back in 2019 and happy like they deserve babey!! Hope you enjoy <33

**29\. Family BBQ**

“What the hell are you doing?”

Ray couldn’t help but gape as he stared at what Diego was doing to the steaks on the grill.

At first glance, nothing seemed off; Diego was simply watching over the steaks as they cooked, pink apron over his t-shirt and jean shorts. But then he noticed Lila on the table next to the grill, handing Diego tiny pieces of—

“Is that pineapple on steak?!” Ray asked, watching in horror as Diego placed the slices on the steaks.

“You bet,” Diego said, finishing up and putting down the spatula. “We’re doing something big here.”

“Sure you are, wolf man,” Lila said, stealing his baseball hat and putting it on. “This look so much better on me.”

“Nope.”

“You look like a 4th of July Dad.”

“Hey, yeah!” Klaus said, patting Ray’s shoulder as he chuckled. “All he needs is a pair of black goggles!”

Diego grabbed the spatula again, pointing it to Klaus’ chest. “You say another damn word, you aren’t getting any steak.”

“Fine, fine, whatever,” Klaus said, fully wrapping his arm around Ray’s back. “I’ll just have Ray-Ray’s serving, look at how petrified he looks!”

It was then that Allison finally came to his rescue, pushing Klaus off him and taking his hand in hers. “Will you stop bullying my husband or is that not part of your schedule?”

Ray couldn’t help but smile, pressing a soft kiss on her temple. Allison squeezed his hand in return, trying to hide her smile; she looked adorable when she attempted to appear firm in front of her family.

“They’re too busy _‘changing the world,’”_ Ben said, making quotations with his hands.

Diego raised an eyebrow. “I thought you supported the idea?”

“Oh, he does,” Jill said, looking up from the book she was reading. “Unfortunately.” Her and Ben were sitting underneath the old tree in the courtyard, cuddled up next to each other.

Ben rolled his eyes. “It’s not a bad idea!” he said. “It worked on pizza, why not steak?”

“Because it’s steak!” Luther said as he finally finished placing the table. Ray had offered to help him carry it outside, but well… Needless to say, Luther had it covered. “And it absolutely did not work on pizza.”

“I think it’s nice,” Sissy said, and Luther gaped at her. “Not on steak though, I’m one hundred percent with you on that one.”

“For some inexplicable reason,” Vanya said with a playful tone. Sissy nudged her arm. “Come on, pineapple on pizza is good! Besides, you never know, this could really be something.”

Ray huffed in desperation. “Why are we talking about it as if it’s some sort of scientific breakthrough?”

“It could be!” Lila said. “I mean, who would have thought some random guy from what, the 80’s? Would change the world with pineapple pizza.”

“It was the 60’s,” Five said, taking a sip of his coffee. “Pineapple pizza was invented in the 60’s.”

Lila winked at him. “Thanks, shorts.”

“You know, Lila,” Five said, shifting in his chair and crossing one leg over the other, “if for some reason BBQ Pineapple Steaks turn into a historical breakthrough, I will not be taking your contribution into account.”

“So you’re in favor?” Diego asked.

“Of course I am,” Five responded as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. “People use fruit to tenderize meat all the time, including pineapple. I don’t see why it wouldn’t work.”

Ray let go of Allison’s hand, gesturing wildly at the grill with both his hands. “Because they’re grilling it!” he said. “They’re not doing anything to it, they’re just putting it on top of a plain steak!”

“Hey, hey, hey, now hold on there!” Diego said, pointing with, once again, his spatula, at Ray. “These are going to be the best steaks you’re ever going to have in your entire life, man, so you better show some respect to the cook.”

“Definitely a 4th of July Dad,” Ray heard Lila whisper to Klaus.

“Diego it’s pineapple on steak,” Luther said. “There’s literally no way it could—no, what is the _point?”_

“It could be nice.”

Everyone turned to the source of the voice; Dave, who had kept quiet all this time, helping Sissy set the table.

“Ladies and gentlemen and enbies, he speaks!” Lila said.

“Don’t be mean!” Klaus said, immediately running up to Dave and hugging him from behind. “Let him voice his opinion.”

Dave chuckled. “I just don’t think it’s a bad idea.”

 _“Thank_ you!”

“But you should stop pointing at everyone with that spatula,” Dave said, shutting Diego up. “Because it really _does_ make you look like a—”

“Shhh,” Klaus interrupted, hugging him tighter. “He may wake up with a spatula through your skull if you say it out loud.”

“Whatever,” Diego said. “We’re about to find out anyway. It’s ready.”

Over the next few minutes, everyone started splitting the first round of steaks between them, until they were back in their seats; Ray, Allison, Luther and Sissy were sitting at the table, Five had his own chair away from the table, Klaus, Dave and Vanya were sitting cross-legged on the floor, Diego and Lila were next to the grill, and Ben and Jill were back underneath the tree. For a moment, nobody dared to do anything other than stare at their plates.

“You know what, this is ridiculous.” Allison was the first one to break the silence. “I’m with Ray and Luther.”

“Surprise, surprise,” Diego mumbled.

“It’s just steak!” Allison said. “This can’t actually have any flavor!”

“Do the honors then.”

“Excuse me?”

“Go ahead, do the honors,” Diego repeated. “If it’s just steak, you wouldn’t mind trying it.”

Allison stared at him for a while. “Fine.”

She grabbed her fork and knife and cut out a tiny piece of the steak she was sharing with Ray, making sure to get some pineapple on the bite. Allison didn’t even look at Diego as she put a mouthful in her mouth. And then…

Silence.

“… well?”

Allison swallowed.

“… I’m with Diego.”

Ray physically felt his heart drop. “Babe, not you too.”

“No, no, Ray, listen!” Allison said, cutting another piece. “Babe, you _have_ to try this, you’re going to love it, I promise.”

“Not before the others do,” Ray said, earning a pout from Allison, who ended up eating the bite for herself.

Soon enough, everyone started eating.

“Ugh,” Luther pushed the plate away from him, and Allison immediately reached for it.

Similarly, Sissy shook her head as she swallowed the bite. “I’ll stick for the normal ones, I think,” she said, passing the plate to Vanya.

Vanya smiled at her, looking more than happy to have it all for herself. “More for me it is.”

“Mmm!” Lila hummed. “I think we might have changed the world after all!”

“I told you it’d be good,” Five said, not bothering to share with anyone.

“Hell yeah it is!” said Diego, a wide grin on his face as he watched over everyone trying his steaks. “I should be responsible for all our family BBQs from now on.”

Family BBQs… _plural?_ Ray shivered at the thought.

“Come oooon, try it!” His attention was turned to the tree. Ben was holding out his fork for Jill, strongly resembling Allison’s attempts from before.

Jill eventually stopped protesting, and let Ben put it in her mouth. “That’s… actually not bad at all.”

“Do _you_ want to try it, love?” Dave asked. He had already devoured half of his and Klaus’ steak, but made sure to leave some for his partner.

“It would be my _pleasure,”_ Klaus said, closing his eyes and accepting the bite in an overly dramatic way—and then he froze.

“Love?”

Klaus blinked his eyes open, reaching for a paper towel and spitting the bite in it. “The hell is this?!”

“It’s gonna be okay, darling,” Sissy said, stretching far enough from her seat to pat his back.

“No!” Klaus said, standing up. He gestured between Dave and Ben. “You know, I was happy that you two were agreeing on something—quality bonding time and everything!” Then he pointed to the plate in Dave’s hands. “But this is a personal attack.”

“Oh, shut up!” Ben said, shaking his head. “It’s not our fault you don’t have taste!”

 _“You_ shut up!” Klaus said. “Your tastebuds are dead just like the rest of you.”

“Klaus.”

“You _know_ I’m right, Davey!”

“You just don’t like fruit, love, it’s okay.”

“Yeah, love!” Lila said through a mouthful. “Veggie rights!”

Before Ray could even begin to process the conversation, Diego was cackling at Lila’s comment, and everyone else started arguing. He did his best to keep up, before eventually accepting defeat, returning to his plate. He exchanged a quick look with Allison, who gave him a thumbs up, and sighed.

Well. Klaus did warn him that family BBQs were going to be weird.

Ray took a bite.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My search history while writing this fic (in chronological order):
> 
> \- foods that don't belong in a bbq  
> \- does pineapple belong on steak  
> \- grill  
> \- grill dad look  
> \- bbq hat  
> \- black goggles  
> \- 4th of july dad starter pack  
> \- 4TH OF JULY DAD  
> \- family bbqs  
> \- family bbqs or bbq's  
> \- bbqs plural  
> \- quality bonding time
> 
> This was a wild ride from start to finish, but that's exactly what it was supposed to be. I really hope you liked this! Can't believe there's only 2 prompts left <3
> 
> Oh, and a final question for you guys... do you think Ray ended up liking the (*Five voice*) BBQ Pineapple Steak? :D


	30. Ben

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If there's one thing that Klaus has learned about Ben over the years, it's that his brother always has his hood up when he's upset.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is based on two different conversations I had with A) my brother and B) some of my friends. If you're one of these people and you already know what this is about... then I'm really sorry :')

**30\. Ben**

Ben has been buried in his hoodie for two days straight.

Klaus knows it’s been this long, not only because he can see him, but also because every time he turns to talk to Ben, he has to pause and ask himself if it really is a good idea; if there's one thing that Klaus has learned about Ben over the years, it's that his brother always has his hood up when he's upset. And Ben does not want to talk when he’s upset. Ever.

But it’s starting to get ridiculous.

Sure, Klaus is all for respecting Ben’s boundaries, but they haven’t had a proper conversation ever since they got donuts the other day. Ben left Klaus with the rest of their siblings in the living room at some point, and Klaus simply assumed that he got overwhelmed by the crowd. He wouldn’t admit it out loud, but Klaus knew that Ben wasn’t quite used to talking to that many people at once yet.

It’s been two days though, two whole days, and Klaus can’t keep quiet much longer. Not only is he getting extremely bored, not being able to throw his commentary around and everything, but also worried.

He has to at least try.

“Benny?”

“Yeah?”

Ben seems normal. Mostly.

He’s sitting on Klaus’ bed, his nose buried in a book. If Klaus squints, he can even make out a smile on his face—reading a funny scene then. A good sign, considering Ben doesn’t usually go for happy books when he’s in a bad mood.

“Is there…” Klaus clears his throat. “Is there anything you want to talk about?”

“Sorry?”

“Blow off some steam, perhaps?” Klaus continues, but Ben is still staring at him with a dumbfounded expression. Klaus sighs; he makes a gesture around his own head, pretending he’s putting his non-existent hood on.

Ben deadpans. “Oh.”

“Yeah…” Klaus takes a seat next to Ben, leaning his back against the wall. He wants to make a joke about how it’s just like old times, staying up way past their bedtime and talking about their problems—they haven’t really talked about serious things in a long time—but he figures now is probably not the best time.

Ben has closed his book, but he’s fiddling with the corner of the cover, refusing to look at Klaus. “You, uh… you noticed that?”

“Come on, how long have I known you?” Klaus has to admit, he would rather Ben didn’t know that Klaus has made the connection between the hoodie and being upset, but it was a long time coming.

Ben huffs, and shakes his head. “That obvious.”

_“Compsi compsa,”_ Klaus says in the best French accent he can muster at the moment. “But, uh… you know I get it, right?”

Ben looks at him then.

Klaus can’t help but chuckle nervously. “Christ, I’m not good at this,” he says. He promised himself he’d do better, when they returned back to 2019, and that’s what he’s planning on doing.

“… you don’t think it’s funny?”

“Of course not!” Klaus says. “Jeez, Ben, I know we don’t really do this heart-to-heart thing, but I promise I’m not going to judge you on this.” 

Ben stays quiet.

"Look…" Klaus says. "You, uh, know me better than anyone. You've witnessed most of my breakdowns for the past two decades."

Ben shrugs.

Klaus takes this as a cue to continue. _"You're_ the one that told me it's okay to have bad days, remember?"

"I guess."

"See!" Klaus says. "You need to cut yourself some slack, man."

It takes another quiet moment for Ben to finally open up. "It's been… hard since we came back."

"I know, Benny."

Klaus feels his heart clench as he notices Ben's eyes getting watery.

"It isn't good, Klaus," Ben says, his voice not quite shaky, but not stable either. "And I'm—I'm worried it's going to be like this forever and, and—"

"Hey, hey." Klaus puts his hand on Ben's shoulder. "It hasn't even been a month yet, don't say that."

"Yes, but the other day, I—"

"I know," Klaus interrupts. He feels guilty for not being there for him then; he should have known keeping Ben conjured for so long with the others would have overwhelmed him. "I'm sorry I didn't help you."

Ben actually wipes a tear off his cheek. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you."

"You don't have to apologise."

Ben smiles and nods, and his hand hovers over his hood for a bit.

"Now come oooon," Klaus says, letting go of Ben's shoulder and nudging his arm. "Take that off already and let me see that wonderful face of…"

Ben lowers his hood.

"… yours."

And his hair is gone.

And Klaus bursts out laughing. "Ben, what—" He tries to catch his breath. "What the—what _the hell—?!"_

"You promised you wouldn't laugh!" Ben says, and Klaus wants to take him seriously, he really does, but his hair is gone and it's too good of a sight.

Well, to be fair, it's not like he's bald. But his hair is shorter than it's ever been; a buzz cut. Ben went ahead and got a buzz cut and he was so ashamed of it he hid it for two days and the thought of it is so damn hilarious that Klaus can barely breathe.

"Yeah, because I thought you were having a bad day, but you—you got a—" Klaus gestured at his head, feeling the tears roll down his cheeks. "You got a little something on your—"

"You know what, fuck you, Klaus!" Ben says, angrily getting up. "It's not that bad!"

"You hid it for _two days!"_ Klaus says. "It _is_ that bad and you know it and—oh my God. Oh my God, this is because Diego cut his hair, isn't it?"

Ben doesn't respond.

"Oh my _God."_

"It's not funny!" Ben yells. "I made a mistake and now it's never going away, and—"

"Hold on, Ben, Benny, Bennifer," Klaus interrupts, "it's _hair._ Much as I'm enjoying this, it _will_ grow back out, you know."

"But that's the thing, you don't know that!" Ben says. "All these years as a ghost, my hair it's been the exact same, it hasn't gotten an inch longer and now—"

Klaus bursts out laughing again.

He simply can't help it. His brother has probably doomed himself to a buzz cut for the rest of eternity, and it looks horrendous and this is it. This is undeniably the best day of Klaus' life.

"Fuck you," Ben mutters and pulls his hood up, leaving the room.

Klaus thinks he's going to give him a moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In conclusion, I CAN'T BELIEVE [JUSTIN MIN SHAVED HIS HEAD](https://www.instagram.com/p/CG8JHoAJbxo/?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet)??
> 
> I was originally planning on writing something angsty for this prompt. I literally had an outline planned and was going to write about the siblings dealing with Ben's loss, but then Justin posted this and feral thoughts appeared and then my friends and my brother and I were like "hahaha what if Ben shaved all his hair off" AND I HAD TO. I HAD TO WRITE IT, I'm so sorry for writing crack _again_ but I had no choice.
> 
> In all seriousness, it doesn't look bad on him at all! I prefer the floof, but Justin can definitely pull the buzzcut off!
> 
> The final prompt (that's tomorrow!!) will be serious, I promise. For one last time... see you next chapter :D


	31. Sparrow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben once saw a sparrow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well... here it is. Last day of TUActober 2020. Thanks to everyone who stuck around for all the prompts, I hope you enjoy this last (and extremely symbolic) installment!

**31\. Sparrow**

_Ben once saw a sparrow._

Six is curled up in his bed reading his new book, when he notices a little bird on his window.

Little as he is, curiosity takes the best of him. There’s barely any space on the ledge of his window, so birds never sit there, not when Five’s room on the same floor has a big fire escape. So, Number Six closes his book, even though he’s dying to know what’s going to happen next, and scoots over at the other side of his bed, that’s closer to the window.

The bird is a sparrow, Six concludes. It’s small, but it doesn’t look young. It’s puffing its tiny chest at the cars on the street, but other than that, it’s not doing much. Not really.

When it hears Six, the sparrow turns around so quickly that Six flinches. He holds his breath in anticipation, waiting for its next move. Will it turn back towards the street? Will it spread its wings and fly?

The sparrow chirps and tilts its head.

Six doesn’t know why he has the urge to giggle, but he doesn’t fight it. This is the closest he’s ever been to a bird, and it’s not just any bird, it’s a _sparrow_. A small thing, like himself, he thinks.

“The world needs you,” Six tells it then. Just like the giggling, he doesn’t know where his words came from, but he isn’t holding them back.

The sparrow tilts its head again. Can it understand him, Six wonders. Can it even hear him in the first place?

It chirps again, twice. Six blinks.

“It must be nice out there,” he says without thinking much about it. “You’re lucky you’re not stuck inside, like I am.”

Another tilt of its head. Then, a few friendly steps on the same spot.

Six smiles. “Go ahead,” he says. “Fly.”

And just like that, his new friend is gone.

Six finds himself staring at the spot the little bird once stood, but the moment doesn’t last long. He puffs his chest just like the sparrow and crawls back underneath his bed covers, burying his nose in his book. The next time he thinks about his sparrow will arrive soon.

_Ben once saw a Sparrow._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ... aaaand, we're done!
> 
> I can't believe it's been an entire month of this already. I also can't believe I didn't miss a single day this year, holy shit.
> 
> Just like in 2019, I saw this challenge as a break from my usual fics, and tried to explore some new writing styles. I learned a lot, made a couple AUs, got screamed at... so I'd call this challenge a success! (Especially considering just how tight my schedule was this year, oops.)
> 
> Happy Halloween you guys! Thank you so much for sticking all the way to the end, this wouldn't be the same without you screaming at me in the comments <333
> 
> (If you're interested in reading last year's TUActober, you can find it [**here**](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20850068/chapters/49562645)!)

**Author's Note:**

> If you liked this, come talk to me [on tumblr (evelinaonline)](https://evelinaonline.tumblr.com)!


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